3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
