I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize