I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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