Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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