He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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