My room smells like vodka and shame
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
