Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
