i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
