hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
