Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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