I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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