so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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