HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
