it hurts more in the daytime
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
