Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
