Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
A bitchslap is in order.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
