I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
