Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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