my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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