I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
