I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
