I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
