Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
