no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is Oprah even human
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
