even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
