ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We don't watch enough power rangers
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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