from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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