At least make sure they are 18
Why
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
