I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
