we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
