My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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