So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
