Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
