There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
