you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
