Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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