SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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