i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
