I met the friendliest cop last night
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
