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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
