you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
