I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
