Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
