How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
