Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
