Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
