Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
