dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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