what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
