My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
