You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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