Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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