Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
