That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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