my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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