Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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