I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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